But as sex workers we also face deep-seated stigmas which mean that if we don’t disclose to you our stories of tragedy and the demeaning experiences we have faced we run the risk of not being believed by you.
This is what we call “tragedy porn”: A desire in the feminist movement to hear tragic stories of hardship from sex workers, and when we don’t tell them, we face the accusation that we are covering up the “truth” about sex work.
Why feminists should listen to sex workers - The Scavenger
An interesting and important read.
Dead Sexy Misandrist: Sex Work Zine Call for Submissions!
Do you or someone you know engage or have engaged in sex work? Would you or that other person like to contribute to a zine about sex work? Well here’s a chance to do such a thing as what I just described!I am currently seeking submissions for a zine for and by current and previous sex workers about sex work. If you or someone you know has worked in or for the sex industry and would like to write, doodle, and/or snap a photo about said experiences then I would like to know about it. And also put it in some sort of book like format for other people to also know about as well.
If you are or have ever been:
A call (trans)girl/guy/gender non binary
A prostitute
An escort
A web cam model
A fetish model
A nude model
A Dominatrix
A stripper
A private dancer
A go go dancer
An exotic masseuse
A sugar baby
A burlesque dancer
A sex therapist
Those working in the production side of things
And/or any other type of sex work that I can’t think of at the moment then I want to hear from you and your experiences!
No topic is off limits, this is an expression of your feelings about a job that we both love and hate. Format is as yet undetermined but I’m leaning towards something I can make out of normal printer paper. If you are submitting a picture or photograph please make sure it is of a high quality so if it needs to be scaled down or altered we can do that without compromising your art.
This first issue (I am hoping to have many) will center around the sex workers themselves. If you are on the receiving end of any of these services and would like to contribute your opinions I will accept them now but will be saving them for later issues.
Please send your submissions to deadsexymisandrist@gmail.com
If you would like to remain anonymous or would like to use a nom de plume just say so and I’ll be happy to oblige.
Deadline for the first issue will be DECEMBER 1ST so I can get it out for the winter holidays.
Vanessa (http://mazhogimaakwe.tumblr.com/) will be co-producing or whatever so if you have any questions you can shoot them at her or just use the email and one of us will get back to you.
P.S. I hope the tongue in cheek nature of the zine’s title is obvious haha.
signalboosting to get the word out!
Today in Absolutely Horrible: SC Stripper Shot At Strip Club Denied Worker’s Comp [Tits and Sass]
The strippers at Tits and Sass have gone on record as being, in general, in favor of independent contractor status for strippers, because we like working at will, not having to be on a rigid schedule, having the ability to travel and work when the whim strikes, not turn over most of our money to the club, and taking Schedule C deductions. There have been a lot of lawsuits filed by strippers seeking to get paid back wages from clubs, and what usually happens is they are determined to be employees (because, honestly, most clubs do treat dancers like employees, mandating shift times and other controls over work), they get paid a small settlement, and the strippers still working at the club or clubs named in the suit inevitably wind up paying more to the club than they did before.
However, the one time we’d actually WANT to see a court determine that a dancer had employee status, as, again, almost inevitably happens, the South Carolina Court of Appeals finds her to be an independent contractor. The reason she was seeking employee status? To collect worker’s compensation after she was SHOT IN THE CLUB in 2008. This is absolutely horrible.
LeAndra Lewis was hit by stray gunfire while dancing at the Boom Boom Room Studio 54 on June 23, 2008. She was 19 and living in Charlotte at the time.She suffered serious injuries to her intestines, liver, pancreas, kidney, and uterus. Surgeons removed one kidney, and doctors informed her she may never be able to have children due to the injuries to her uterus.
According to her testimony, extensive scarring from the gunshot wound left her unemployable as an exotic dancer.
Lewis, who frequently danced at clubs in North and South Carolina, filed a claim for benefits with the workers’ compensation commission. Because the club had no insurance, the South Carolina Uninsured Employers’ Fund was forced to defend.
—Stripper shot while dancing in club denied Worker’s Compensation
What a nightmare. It’s possible that the Boom Boom Room is one of those clubs that lets dancers come and go as they please. The South and Southwest have many more clubs that observe true IC status than the Northeast and Midwest, it’s true. I’m not sure who, legally, besides the total shitbags who were firing guns in the strip club, should be liable. It’s terrible that the club didn’t have insurance for something like this. It’s far from surprising that the dancer didn’t. Most dancers don’t have health insurance, let alone their own form of disability/worker’s comp. This case is another sad reminder that, employee or independent contractor, you really can’t win.
Transnational Desires, Suzana Maia (2012) [Tits and Sass]
review by Mona Salim
There was something surreal about reading Susana Maia’s Transnational Desires: Brazilian Erotic Dancers in New York during down time in the strip club where I now work. Perhaps because I was reading about Astoria strip clubs while in an Astoria strip club, Maia’s ethnography hit close to home. Maia and I are both social scientists; we even share some of the same academic mentors. We both felt an uncomfortable alienation in Manhattan strip clubs. We’re both interested in intimacy, desire, gender, and transnational ties for immigrants.
The similarities stop there. Maia saw herself in many of the Brazilian middle class dancers she so passionately describes in the book, whereas I haven’t yet met another South Asian or Muslim dancer in four years of dancing. Maia chose to write about strip clubs as an observant ally and outsider, and she never danced. I, on the other hand, focus on an entirely different subject in my academic work. Stripping keeps me entertained and helps pay my bills. I’m not doing my dissertation on strip clubs, though friends often inquire why not. Maia sees herself as ambiguously positioned between the United States and Brazil. For me, the U.S. is certainly home.
A reader might be surprised to see a lack of citations from the so-called “sex worker rights literature” in this book. For Maia, this is a deliberate choice, as she resists reducing these women to a static “sex worker” identity. The book is about more than just what happens in the strip club for Brazilian dancers. Maia explores race, colorism, downward class mobility, and cultural citizenship as she traces the journeys of nine dancers. She asks why middle class Brazilian women, often highly educated, choose to move to New York and work in the adult entertainment industry.
Maia is an ethnographer and an anthropologist. As such, she is interested in the day-to-day lived experiences of the nine dancers whose lives she so vividly describes. While she does spend time on the floors and in the dressing rooms of strip clubs, she also goes to the beach with these women, is invited to their weddings, and occasionally even accompanies them on outings with client/customers. Because they are part of her social world, Maia candidly expresses reservations about their dating choices, discomfort with their use of racist or classist language, and moments of intimacy and trust between them. She is not an objective social scientist looking in from the outside. As a middle-class Brazilian immigrant to New York City herself, she relates intimately to these women. Her use of ethnography is critical to this project, and she describes how formal interviews yielded flat, often stereotypical responses that did not provide the depth and honesty that her extended friendships with these dancers did.
Much of the book explores these women’s reasons for migrating to New York in the first place. The women she chooses are part of an unstable middle class in Brazil that is reeling from the effects of structural adjustment and the loss of the dream that Brazil would become part of the First World. With their elite social standing in jeopardy, these (mostly) highly educated women find themselves on circuitous routes to New York City’s gentlemen’s clubs, where off-the-books earnings allow them to send money home or make the consumer purchases Brazilian elites had become accustomed to during the boom years.
Brazilian discourse celebrates the racially mixed population of Brazil, but this rhetoric is far from reality, where fair skin and privilege go hand in hand. The economic downturn in Brazil led to a concern with “racial purity” as fair skinned privilege became increasingly insecure. For the migrant middle class women in this book, presenting themselves as the racially mixed (but not black) morena is a critical part of constructing their notion of self in a transnational socioeconomic context. This separates them from the darker, hypersexualized mulata who has African blood. The morena is “exotic” enough for commodification in the U.S. sex industry. The bodies of these women are post-colonial, and they are aware of the ways they must market them. “The evocation of an exotic sexuality becomes a dancer’s work,” Maia says (89). In this way, Maia adds to a growing body of work that documents the ways race—as a tangible asset or liability—affects women in the sex industry.
Maia finds a surprising honesty among these women, for whom marriage, romance, and sexuality are nothing like the traditional aspirations that women are “supposed” to have. If anything, what Maia unearths is a critical feminist approach to relationships with men, an unapologetic sense of using the objectification of the brown, female body to one’s advantage. Sara tells her that men “should pay for their inherent gender privileges” (134). Often, men will pay dancers for dates. In many instances she describes, Maia does not explicitly tell us whether these women are engaging in sex with these customers—perhaps because the dancers themselves aren’t totally candid about this. As these women’s visas expire, they often turn to paid marriages that allow them to stay in the United States. Others find marriage partners who are desirable stepping-stones to American acceptability. Affection, romantic love, and passion rarely shape their decisions to marry or migrate.
While I stuck around at a Manhattan strip club for more than a year for reasons of money and glamour, Maia found it a difficult place to conduct her research, though she spends some time in a Manhattan club with Nadja. Astoria bars cultivate a more open, neighborhood vibe, while in Manhattan she not only feels uncomfortable but is actually asked to leave the club. As always in anthropology, elite spaces can be the most difficult to study.
Maia’s work highlights how in-between, how liminal the experiences of these women are. In Brazil, they’re relatively elite. In the U.S., they are branded undocumented immigrants, women of color, and strippers. As morenas, they are not-quite-white, but certainly not black. They live, sometimes without legal documentation, in the United States, a place that may or may not become a permanent home. And the Brazil they may return to is never, ever the same.
i want to network with other qtpoc involved in sex work
it’s strugglingtobeheard here, trying to reach out to some people that i would like to network with. i have talked about my involvement in the sex work industry. i am a queer genderfluid person who has been involved in this industry for about 6 years, on and off. right now, it is a lot more mild than the club scene i was dealing with in the past. but online camming is still a world of it’s own with the oppressions we face in our in space lives coming into our online lives. and so i want to network with other self-identified qtpoc (especially Black folks) who are involved in this work, either online or offline, who want to create or work together to create some kind of space where we can discuss, share and have some safety to just be us.
right now i am thinking something that is free and easy to start up, such as a password protected twitter, tumblr or facebook group. something along those lines. or even an email list where we can send each other messages. tinychat and gchat options or skype sessions as well. i want to protect people’s privacy, i know this is a big issue, so if you want to chat or collaborate but don’t want to reblog/call attention, i understand. a message marked private might be a good way to start, if you are comfortable.
i don’t have anything concrete yet, but my time at the allied media conference has given me a bit of energy and an idea and the sense that i might as well and see what i can do on my own and build from there. so if you are self-identified qtpoc who is involved in sex work (or seriously considering, maybe… maybe.) then i would love if you signal boost this, contact me, or those who aren’t pass this along to those who might be.
my ultimate dream would to be to set up a way to market ourselves to a qtpoc customer base so we would have less of the stress to deal with in our livings. but this is further down the line. so in the meantime, please signal boost or hit me up if you’d like!! if you don’t feel comfortable doing so or want more info, feel free to also message me in that regard.
A Complicated View of Sex Work
Anti-sex work feminists are cute in how simplistic they are.
What’s not cute is that they have to share that simplicity with the world.
—- —- —- —- —- —-
Here’s something a little more complicated:
-I didn’t have much of a choice in being a pro switch.
-I really, sincerely enjoy parts of it.
-I really, sincerely loathe parts of it.
-I really, sincerely fear parts of it.
-You can pry this option from my cold, dead hands.
-I find certain aspects of my job empowering and just as many disempowering.
-My job is not oppressing anyone more than most jobs in this society are.
-My job is not liberating anyone more than most jobs in this society are.
-I hate most of my entitled, dickhead clients, not because they’re clients, but because they’re entitled dickheads. (If you’re a client, and you’re reading this, and you’re worried, then maybe you should stop being a fucking dickhead. If you’re not worried, I very much hope it’s because you’re one of the good ones.)
-I also hate clients who insist that I love my job or even get off on it. (If you’re a client, and you’re reading this, and you’re alarmed, let me ask you a few rhetorical questions. Do you *love* being a fucking accountant? Does it make your dick hard? Does that make you bad at your job or a victim of it?)
-I actually do appreciate clients who don’t fucking suck. My resentment towards them is entirely limited to their being rich (usually)white men. (If you’re a client, and you’re reading this, and you think you might be offended, read a helluva a lot more about social justice and then realize you are not actually offended.)
-I’m a radical feminist, minus the shit parts. (And yes, I do actually know what that label means. I disagree with the anti-trans, anti-kink and anti-sex work path y’all have dragged this ideology down).
-Porn is a form of sex work I mostly love, and one that I think has genuine radical potential.
-Most people are coerced into their jobs and kind of hate them and many find them damaging.
-This is probably the least damaging thing I can do right now, and I have a problem with that, and so should you, and you should take that out on the capitalist kyriarchy, you stupid shit.
-The super-privileged ‘I choose my choice’ sex workers are very much not helpful, but the anti-sex work non-sex workers are toxic as fuck.
-Most of my co-workers have opinions that are equally complicated.
-A trafficked woman is not a sex worker any more than a woman is sexually active because she’s raped. You harm both sex workers and trafficking victims by grouping us together. And by harm, I mean you’re trying to kill us. Fuck you.
-Decriminalize all sex work now.
-Abolish most sex work eventually.
——Fuck the sex industry and support sex workers.——
Maggie McNeal Commenting on Chicago Tribune article (via thefumoblu)
So true never thought about that.
(via cuntygrrl)
wow soaked in your colonial, racist, gendered privilege much, OP? Logically absurd is a mighty big gauntlet to throw down…beyond exhausted with white privileged anybody thinking they even remotely voice anything of relevance for the women and people of color in all those nooks and crannies of the world they don’t trouble themselves to look in. What do you think happens to sex workers living in Brown/Black, gender non-complaint, disabled, too young, too sick bodies in your fantasies?
Those capitalist big meanie systems hipster progressives are so fond of protesting - you know the ones whitey himself never can seem to to topple - under who’s thumb exactly do you conscript the bodies of MY PEOPLE to exist? What mechanisms do you think will help a sex worker in a contract dispute in THIS society when a square can’t get any justice? Think whole hog legalization will make cops a resource - ever talked to a stripper - legal sex work - whose been raped? I have..guess what cops dont give a fuck when moms and secretary goodie-goodies get attacked and their give-a-fuck disappears down a slidding scale the closer you get to working instead of walking.
You know why you don’t see a huge brigade of sex workers speaking out en-mass to voice A VERY DIFFERENT EXPERIENCE based on all those pesky intersections this blithe rhetoric doesn’t ever engage…IT”S CAUSE THE”RE ARE FUCKING DEAD AND DISAPPEARED. They were sold and guess what their bodies arent fucking here cause the same system that said it was ok to sell them like objects said it was ok to dispose of them the same way. And the ones who survive no one listens to anyway cause they are still members of marginalized communities overall even if they do speak english and endless sea of them dont! Way to ignore the millions of women who do exactly live in a context where their sexuality IS ALL THEY ARE WORTH and there is no ‘and now i do something else option’ like you so clearly enjoy. You are a hobbiest - they are in it for life. Got any policies cooking specifically tailored for them? or do you just care about making it easier for YOU to flex that privilege in every direction?hmmm…think on it.
Upper-end call/indoor/uppityass sex workers are usually white or white compliant/specialty in-demand and leveraging every ounce of privilege to pull those $$$ with some ‘relative’ safety when you work.
You’ll claim your big spending, nice guy, girlfriend experience wanting tricks are swell guys who DESERVE access to teh services you so willingly provide and completely erase what those same johns and others do when they decide they wanna go discount shopping for something distinctly OTHER. You willfully erase the violence done to women not like you cause it busts your game and fuck it - you don’t give a fuck when every other part of your system abuses and murders us — so your spiel’s got no cred when it’s white patriarchy pleasing bodies clocking all the good money and flexi-schedule empowerment. It’s white academics that get to flip a shallow, touristy dip in the sex work pool into a fucking dissertation/book/tenured teaching gig. We WOC who disclose that shit in the SAME academic settings just reinforce the stereotypes and aren’t even considered edgy …cause WOC = whore and POC = objects for consumption.
Bodies available for consumption/sale is a presumption made about WOC on sight long before any get a ‘choice’. You erase the real abuse and murder of real people at the hands of the men who exploit, consume, and kill them. You ignore the voices of the many queer sex workers who don’t find servicing clients a sexually empowering event but rather a criminal and traumatizing imposition on their bodies which is horrific enough to endure - but to be told that to have the unmitigated gall to think you have a right to survive as a marginalized person for even one day construes a free un-coerced choosy choice is just adding insult to injury by AGAIN erasing all the structural violence white amerikka uses on a global scale to create those limited choice sets. [here’s a hint - there’s not one bit of liberating f*minism involved!]
And about that global scale, do you realize BY THE NUMBERS just how many sex workers you so flagrantly gather up under your skirts when you presume to speak for anyone other than yourself and attack viewpoints that just may encompass more than your narrow privilege lets you see…do YOU realize how very much you don’t know or don’t care to address says a fuck ton about YOU, OP. meh. I’ve never heard of an “anti-sex worker” activist, other than some religious fundie…sooo that busted ass attempted shade is just a bunch of power paradigm reinforcing bullshit. Real meaningful advocacy for sex workers hits the fucking ‘system’ so hard in the gut it starts pulling out intestines and necessarily includes all the core issues of the criminal justice system, human rights, labor rights, globalization, healthcare, economic inequalities and a dizzying number of systems of oppressions that i can’t imagine the F*minism lite brigade that mans the sex-poz front for the mainstream could engage it any better than the miserable job it does with the 101 shit…so psssssh without nuance this shit is hollow propaganda for the man - at best
(via muckrakingiswomenswork)
Things I Once Valued But Now Think Are Massively Problematic
I haven’t blogged step-by-step about all the things that have changed in my brain over the last couple of years with regards to the work and activism I’ve been involved with for the last decade. But things have shifted a lot for me, and hopefully also in how I do my work (forget about intentions, its all about actions). Lists are hip on the internets these days, right? So here’s some things:
- Feminism: Once upon a time, “feminist” was my main self-identifier, the word I held onto above all else. Now I feel sort of embarrassed to admit that. Yeah, and don’t tell me that feminism can be a good thing! I know that parts of it can. But when people whom your ideology fucks over -in the case of feminism, especially people of color and transgender women- tell you that your ideology is fucking them over, you should shut up and listen. And excuses about intentions are still excuses. Feminists largely remain cissupremacist, racist, classist, and too obsessed with my next point…
- The Idea of Choice: the concept of “choice,” as in being free to choose something or other, is a fallacy that rests on middle class ideals. The choices of most people are not free, they are constrained by something, shaped by the circumstances of one’s life. (But this is slippery thing: to say that there’s no such thing as choice is close to saying that when people do things that others may regard as a bad idea, they were duped into doing them, and perhaps aren’t responsible.)
- Proving That I Like the Sex Industry and It Hasn’t Done Me Any Harm: I used to try really hard to prove that I was a healthy, well-adjusted person and sexual being both before and after working in the sex industry. Neither is really true, and I still don’t entirely understand the lines of causation and correlation. But it used to be really important to me to prove my wellness, which I saw as defending myself and maybe even defending the sex industry. The two narrative options available for people to tell stories about their experiences in the sex industry are: “I was a happy hooker!” vs “The sex industry ruined me.” So I opted for the first, even though it didn’t fit. But it sure sounded better. The reality is much more complex. I think that space for these realities is starting to be created, and I hope I am part of creating those spaces, and making it possible for people of many experiences to talk about their stuff.
- Sex Positivity: So, I like sex. I like it more now than I have in years and years. And although a lot of sex positive culture has queer rhetoric all over it, its become clear to me that so much of sex positivity centers around unchecked, gleeful privilege. I’m only interested in a sex positivity that has a racial and economic justice frame, and that’s most definitely not what I’m seeing.
There’s definitely a lot of intersection among the shifting, mostly that I’ve gained a different kind of race, class, and gender analysis and have started to take a harder look at things that were once precious to me. Which is, you know, hard. But proceeding and doing things as I’ve built them because that’s how I’ve built them is shitty, if the foundations are corroded with racism, classism, and cissexism - as I’ve found they are.
This whole thing rocks me. I bold-plus-italicized points I really dug.
Thoughts From The Peacock Angel: Non-Sex Worker Privilege List (Trigger warning)
So I was looking for one of these and couldn’t find one, anyone else who wants to contribute, feel free to.
- People do not assume I am sexually available because of my profession.
- People do not assume I am a drug user because of my profession.
- People do not question my sexual orientation because of my profession (in cases where my profession does not fall outside social gender norms, as in the case of male ice skaters etc)
- I am not harassed by police officers for my profession even if what I do is strictly legal.
- I am not blamed for harassment in the work place because of my profession.
- Provided it is legal, my profession does not make people think I am an unfit parent.
- Romantic prospects do usually not react with horror at the mention of my profession.
- People do not question my ability to be monogamous because of my profession.
- People do not assume I am traumatized because of my profession.
- People do not try to dictate my experience of my profession to me.
- I am not told my profession is tantamount to selling my soul (unless I’m a corporate lawyer, in which case I probably have in fact sold my soul) sorry couldn’t resist the joke.
- There are depictions of my profession in popular media that do not make me either the victim or perpetrator of a crime.
- My profession does not discredit me when I accuse someone of rape or sexual harassment.
- News stories about people in my profession (provided it is legal) do not automatically make us monsters or martyrs.
- My boundaries and limits are not assumed to be for sale.
Sh*t They Say To Sexworkers
Accurate. Especially that “what’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever done?” question. Does anybody ask that of math teachers? I’m saying.
What They Said: My Sex [Poly Patao Productions]
A post from Ignacio Rivera’s blog. Great stuff about the uncomfortable, sometimes boundary-violating assumptions made about sex workers (or, as Ignacio put it, those who “do sex”).
And it references Biggie Shorty, Wanda Sykes’ character from Pootie Tang, so bonus points there. ^_^
“For many years, the interrelated histories of prostitution and cities have perked the ears of urban scholars, but until now the history of urban sex work has dealt only in passing with questions of race. In I’ve Got to Make My Livin’, Cynthia Blair explores African American women’s sex work in Chicago during the decades of some of the city’s most explosive growth, expanding not just our view of prostitution, but also of black women’s labor, the Great Migration, black and white reform movements, and the emergence of modern sexuality.
Focusing on the notorious sex districts of the city’s south side, Blair paints a complex portrait of black prostitutes as conscious actors and historical agents; prostitution, she argues here, was both an arena of exploitation and abuse, as well as a means of resisting middle-class sexual and economic norms. Blair ultimately illustrates just how powerful these norms were, offering stories about the struggles that emerged among black and white urbanites in response to black women’s increasing visibility in the city’s sex economy. Through these powerful narratives, I’ve Got to Make My Livin’ reveals the intersecting racial struggles and sexual anxieties that underpinned the celebration of Chicago as the quintessentially modern twentieth-century city.”U of C Press
You’ve Got Problems: Sex Worker Childhoods [Tits and Sass]
It’s supposed to be common knowledge that I ended up in my job as an escort because, as a child, I suffered some serious emotional damage. But from the inside looking out, it’s clear to me that non-sex workers have plenty of issues all their own. Last week, one of them kept jumping out at me: civilian women’s cavalier clichés about sex workers’ pasts.
I know plenty of men believe that every sex worker has had a screwed up childhood. For me, though, accusations of familial damage cut a lot deeper when they’re thrown around by women, particularly women with otherwise feminist chops (*coughcough* Tina Fey.) We all suffer from slut/whore/man-hater sexism—meaning we’re all vulnerable to the stigma against a woman expressing sexuality in any “deviant” way—so shouldn’t we all reject that misogyny? It’s obvious that the abused sex worker myth is a symptom of our culture’s need to pathologize sexual women, and it should be obvious why the “some adult must have screwed you up when you were little” jab is a mean-spirited, ignorant, and completely trite accusation—but apparently it isn’t. For women like Mary Elizabeth Williams, let me break down the myriad ways it sucks.
It’s classless. I don’t think we need to eat dinner with finger bowls at hand, but there is a real reason for some manners to stay in place. Family dynamics are so wildly personal and such an intimate matter to begin with that confronting anyone with your assumptions about theirs is graceless, insulting behavior. That’s why it’s pretty much never done except with regards to sex workers: suddenly, because we’re such a highly stigmatized and (often) invisible population, people feel fine about saying atrocious things they’d presumably never say about any other group. What exactly was your family like, Stupid Joke-Makers, that child abuse was the most reliable way to get a laugh? Would you be making this “joke” to some of the alleged Sandusky victims? No? What about if some of those boys grew up to be gigolos? Now is it a cool punchline? Now is it hysterical? Of course it isn’t. That’s because…
It’s not funny. Why in God’s name would another human being’s childhood of abuse or neglect be something to laugh about? Tee hee, your uncle raped you! Your mother never loved you! Look at me, being witty! Aren’t we having fun? If you think you’re speaking the truth about someone’s past as a victim, and you’re using it to a) criticize them or b) make a joke at their expense, you’re pretty much a monster. I know comedians in particular are supposed to be edgy and un-PC, and many pride themselves on having no boundaries when it comes to race, kids with cancer, violent crime, or terrorist jokes. But most successful comedians do not pack their sets full of jokes about child rape and it’s not because the audience is a bunch of wet blankets; it’s because it’s very hard to make someone laugh about an atrocity.
For instance, The Onion, which is notoriously unconcerned with offending sensitive readers, has barely any online articles using molestation or incest as a punchline—except one about a sex worker who “overcomes years of child abuse to achieve porn stardom.” It includes lots of mentions of how often she does gang bangs and ATM scenes, as well as how many step-fathers raped her and called her “Daddy’s little fuck toy.” But this article wouldn’t exist if the woman weren’t a porn star; it’s only funny (and titillating) because she’s a sex worker. That’s because once someone engages in commercial sex, the gloves are off. They become such a reviled non-person that their victimization, which would have otherwise been cause for lamentation and empathy, is now fair game for a laugh. It’s as though choosing sex work makes someone reverse-deserve their abuse.
This pales in comparison to the above, but it’s also worth mentioning that ye olde molested sex worker is one of the most tired, unoriginal “jokes” in circulation. You know how no lawyer can stand lawyer jokes in part because they’re all so stale? I’ve heard exponentially more sex worker slams than I have lawyer cracks, and lawyers aren’t habitually murdered, raped, assaulted by police officers, and separated from their children. So, yeah. Call us touchy, but we’re probably not going to “get” the hilarity, Nameless D-Bag From Kat’s TV Show.
It’s redundant. The number of people with painless, permanently sunny childhoods has to be sub 1% for the entire world population. No one lives free of suffering. If you think holding a straight job is a sign of an emotional wounds-free upbringing, I’m sorry to put it so bluntly but you are a certifiable simpleton. And if you think you have to be a woman to have “daddy issues,” you’re even more clueless. I regularly listen to highly successful, straight-job-holding guys talk about their distant fathers, their strained relationship with their mothers, their history of family tension and lies. So to claim any large group of people has some undefined sadness in their past is to deliver no new information at all. Thanks, Sherlock. Great to have you on the case.
It’s very challenging to find reliable, agenda-less statistics, but it’s possible that female sex workers have a rate of childhood violation comparable to the population at large, though this is not readily apparent since, strangely, no one’s probing into the sexual history of female chefs or female marketing execs or female professional decorators. Colorlines just released a graphic indicating how tragically common child abuse is. Clearly, not all or even most of those victims grow up to work in the sex industry.
It’s often not true. Can you imagine how infuriating it is to have strangers regularly make salacious assumptions about your past? To have someone you’ve never met make themselves an expert on your life? If you’re a sex worker, chances are you don’t have to imagine, because you come up against this shiz all the time, and from complete strangers no less. And denying it only makes it worse. Somehow, the more we say “no one molested me!” the more molested we seem. It just makes all the haters smirk knowingly, like, “Wow, only someone really molested would be protesting this much.”
It’s not the point. Usually when the issue of sex worker pasts comes up, it’s because some absolutist (read: BS) claim about sex worker essence isn’t far behind. What made her—and it’s always a “her” here, isn’t it—a stripper? What made her a hooker? Oh right, that terrible childhood. Normal women like us would never do that. The “logic” is that, for women specifically, a crappy upbringing consigns them to a life of sexual commerce. They surely won’t be able to succeed in any other job, if their twisted state even allows them to attempt straight work. The Onion article is predicated on this very idea: the celebration of the porn star’s profession is a joke because sex work is another step in a long life of tragedy. She hasn’t “overcome” anything. She’s doing exactly what her circumstances prescribed for her and further perpetuating her own degradation. This pervasive mentality means prohibitionists can dismiss all sex workers as broken, confused, and brainwashed if they claim to have chosen their work or indicate a desire to continue doing it.
This is cruel and it’s senseless. Sasha puts it perfectly when she writes, “Thanks for humiliating me for my familial shortcomings while I’m working. Thank you for trying to mine my heartbreak in search of reasons for my vileness.” If sex work is the refuge of abused former children, sex work still isn’t the problem—the abuse is the problem. We want child abuse to end whether or not it means the end of sex work, right? Nadia Payne speaks movingly about her desire to help other molested girls in this same article where she supports legalization of prostitution and says that, if she had a daughter who wanted to strip, “I would tell her the good and the bad. […] ‘I love you no matter what you do for a job,’ is what I’d tell her.”
Furthermore, sex workers eagerly offer up the explanation of what “made” them that way—it’s the economy, stupid! Over and over again, we say we do our jobs for the money. There are other perks tied to that: the flexibility of the hours, the independence, the ability to come and go from most clubs or agencies without much hassle. Those might also be listed as answers to the “why do you do this?” inquiry, but they’re all part of the same single answer, which is that, right now, for that person, it’s the best way to make money, “the most stable and sure way to support themselves.” Mystery solved. It’s not something constitutional after all. As one of our contributors has said, “I think the most empowering thing for people from dysfunctional families is financial independence, not to mention being able to afford therapy.” If someone does turn to sex work largely because of a nasty past, why does that necessarily de-legitimize what they’re doing?
Bottom line: Not all sex workers were molested or beaten or criminally mistreated while growing up. Some of them were, just like some doctors and some teachers and some plumbers were. But it doesn’t matter because—here’s a radical thought—whether or not any given sex worker has a tragic past is profoundly none of your business. And your speculation is profoundly unfunny.
Erasure of Transgender Youth in the Sex Trade
Presentation by Emi Koyama on November 20, 2011.
Transcription of slides (Slides transcribed by Amber Yust on November 21, 2011.)
A really well developed presentation. Every person who considers themselves a trans* activist should make sure to read through this lecture.
Looks like a pump, feels like a wingtip.


