Tuesday, April 9, 2013
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Girl, I guess.
The force of cooning is strong with this one. Though Jean Grae’s reaction is perfect.
That said, this is probably the biggest boost LL’s gotten on the Interwebs since… when? I stay forgetting that he’s still working.
Friday, October 5, 2012
Plot twist: Romney applies for unemployment tomorrow
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
If you refer to women as “females” you’re already showing that you ain’t shit
Like, get it together. At least try to obscure the fact that your argument will be a horseshit sandwich with bumboclaat dressing by changing up the vocab a little.
Oh, really? Female is a bad word now, too? How about female women? is that preferable and unoffensive after all, being female is totally gross and offensive.
Is talking about my period also being exclusionary?
I hate to ask this, not because I’m afraid of being rude but because I’m pretty sure I already know the answer, but are you Black and in the States? Because I was referring to a specific way the word is used in the vernacular form by some Black men (and other men of color) in the US speaking about Black women (and other women of color) in the US. So unless that’s the context you’re coming from, I think you’re getting up in arms about commentary that wasn’t discussing a group in which you claim membership.
TL;DR maybe this isn’t the convo for you, and doesn’t concern you, your period, or your insular construction of language. Please leave.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Because of course, shoplifting is perfect for a fascinating slice-of-life story in The New Yorker if you’re a “[twee, white,] energetic, intelligent young lady criminal”.
I liked Me and You and Everyone We Know (mostly because I only really paid attention to the kids), but I find I’m generally way more annoyed by Miranda July than impressed by her. Whatever gets her checks signed, though. Sigh.
Friday, September 16, 2011
So I’m reading this thread on Facebook (and should know better, because I just knew it was gonna devolve into some ridiculousness), and got to the part where the girl carrying the sign in the photo said the following:
The white race has been treated like absolute trash for generations. We all DO suffer. I’m from the south, I’m female, I’m a ginger, I’m weird, I have big tits, I’m not very social. So, I’m a slutty, antisocial, freak, hick, who has no soul. I feel so privileged.
[Bolding mine for “heffa is you for real?!”ness]
I’m not even angry, because that bullshit’s so absurd that I have to believe this is, in fact, a giant joke that’s gonna end with someone screaming “The Aristocrats!”
In the meantime, here’s me reading the FB thread:
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Basically, Swizz Beatz was sexting Christina Elizabeth while married to Alicia Keys, and they fucked while he was with Mashonda (before he started cheating on Mashonda with Alicia Keys). And then there was that other woman he had a baby by in the UK.
I think the real news story is, why is anybody still fucking Swizz Beatz? Does. Not. Compute.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Tumblr is fucking funny. (Or, you can take that “you betcha” bullshit and blow it out your ass.)
My insomniac behind wakes up at 3:30, logs into Tumblr (because, of course, that’s just what you do when you first wake up), and finds out that from one little post, people have concluded that I’m a Palinesque anti-intellectual.
Holy shit, that’s amazing. Seriously, those of you who took that from my post, thank you. Thank you so much for proving my point. Because if people who have less formal education than you, but more of a sense of how privilege works in the world, were able to understand my goddamn post without footnotes, and y’all couldn’t figure out from my Tumblr that “anti-intellectual” and “Sarah Palin” are a couple of the least accurate epithets you could use for me (and trust, there are plenty out there for queer dark-skinned black feminine people - you don’t even have to be all that creative to come up with a string of them), you are probably exactly the kind of “life of the mind”-having shithead I was talking about in the first place.
That you managed to miss the point even with the original post’s tags attached (including “cross-class fluency” and “codeswitch or go home”) stuns me - the irony of your reading comprehension fail is making me giggle (as is this mug of cheap wine I’m drinking).
But since that’s what I’m being called, I’ll concede. I am a fucking anti-intellectual. Because if being an intellectual means engaging in buzzword-heavy circle jerks with other doctoral candidates, coupled with a striking inability to communicate with the majority of muhfuckas walking the earth, then all that cherished book learning has diminished the intellectual’s capacity to be a human being. Or did folks forget that the language of the academy is, in a lot of cases, used specifically to shut out those who can’t afford formalized higher education? Even a cursory glance at US history, or of the history of other colonized nations, reveals that there have been brilliant informally-educated people with valuable contributions to make since nationhood became a trend, whose contributions were diminished in their time because they were too dark or too female, and higher education at the time was a wealthy white men’s game.
I realize that for those of you who’ve already decided I’m a neocon book-burner in disguise, the above rant isn’t going to change your opinion. Plus I’m not at all willing to wave around degrees to prove my worth and qualification for this discussion (I’ve had people pull that shit in meatspace with me… fuck that noise). Just in case you need a straight cis white dude with Ivy League wallpaper to translate what the fuck I’m saying (and fuck you for that, by the way), I’ll refer you to this essay from American Scholar by William Deresiewicz, “The Disadvantages of an Elite Education.” An excerpt:
It didn’t dawn on me that there might be a few holes in my education until I was about 35. I’d just bought a house, the pipes needed fixing, and the plumber was standing in my kitchen. There he was, a short, beefy guy with a goatee and a Red Sox cap and a thick Boston accent, and I suddenly learned that I didn’t have the slightest idea what to say to someone like him. So alien was his experience to me, so unguessable his values, so mysterious his very language, that I couldn’t succeed in engaging him in a few minutes of small talk before he got down to work. Fourteen years of higher education and a handful of Ivy League degrees, and there I was, stiff and stupid, struck dumb by my own dumbness. “Ivy retardation,” a friend of mine calls this. I could carry on conversations with people from other countries, in other languages, but I couldn’t talk to the man who was standing in my own house.
It’s not surprising that it took me so long to discover the extent of my miseducation, because the last thing an elite education will teach you is its own inadequacy. As two dozen years at Yale and Columbia have shown me, elite colleges relentlessly encourage their students to flatter themselves for being there, and for what being there can do for them. The advantages of an elite education are indeed undeniable. You learn to think, at least in certain ways, and you make the contacts needed to launch yourself into a life rich in all of society’s most cherished rewards. To consider that while some opportunities are being created, others are being cancelled and that while some abilities are being developed, others are being crippled is, within this context, not only outrageous, but inconceivable.
Point of all my TL;DR - book smart ain’t shit if you can’t talk to people. You want people to respect book learning? Talk to them like you respect their minds, even if they weren’t shaped in a classroom. Otherwise, go sit your ass down somewhere.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Real Housewife Kelly Bensimon has teamed up with designer Jen Mascali to observe the 10th anniversary of 9/11… with a tote bag. In her touching letter that accompanies the $240 product, Bensimon explains that she’s “totally crazy for handbags.”
After all, just because it’s 9/11, that doesn’t mean you don’t need a bag to carry your things around in, so it might as well be an appropriately themed one. It can even hold your anxiety medication, or emergency nips of vodka, or your iPod with the MP3 of Jeff Buckley’s cover of “Hallelujah” that you should play on a continuous loop to get you in the right frame of mind.
But let’s talk about what’s really important: appearances! This “Remember” bag is shiny red leather, and for an extra classy touch, it has an adornment that’s in the shape of a flame. The fireball features the words: “Each life is a miracle that changes the world and leaves it a better place than it was before.”
It’s sad that no one will buy this bag, because 100% of all sales will be donated to the National September 11th Memorial and Museum in New York City.
No words at how crass and ridiculous this is. I’mma just leave this right here.
Friday, August 26, 2011
hey, I’m new to your blog but I really appreciate it. I love all of the diversity within our community: genderbending, genderqueer, trans*, or just plain gay, lesbian, bisexual or asexual. Sometimes though, being a cis female sometimes makes me sad; in comparison, I’m normal and boring, even if it is who I am. Seeing others who are proud to be who they are is reassuring.
[Femma welcomes you! Glad you like the blog!!]
“having the massive institutional power of feeling comfortable with the sex and gender i was assigned at birth is so normal and borrrrringgg, goshhhhhh!!!! it’s so good to see other ~abnormal~ EXCITING genders makes me feel so much better about myself.”
maybe if being cis female makes you “sad” you should consider: are you actually cis? maybe you’re not. maybe you’d benefit from exploring identities outside of that. or maybe you are just doing that super fucked up “my identity’s place in culture is the dominant culture, and it is so prevalent and everywhere and so normalized that i feel somehow de-cultured, so i am going to pretend i am somehow harmed by that, and fetishize other’s struggle”
like this cis woman in one of my classes at my “women’s college” introduced herself as “hi, my name is [name], i use she/her pronouns… i’m not very exiting or abnormal in that way, hahaha!!!” … yeah fuck you
idk what this person’s deal is, but i just can’t handle how ridiculous their post is\
For some reason the formatting got weird when I tried to reblog, so just to clarify, the italicized is the original post and the rest is dressupbox’s awesome response.
I hate shit like this the way I hate it when people say they’re “boring” because they’re from the States and don’t have “exotic” stories about some other home country. I’m sorry your consistently-centered mainstream-acceptable identity doesn’t make you feel interesting… maybe you should question why the hell my marginalized status strikes you as such a fucking novelty.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
I don’t know whether that title, superimposed over a mega-privileged white woman portraying a mega-privileged white woman, makes me want to laugh or throw a brick.
I Don’t Know How She Does It… really? Between this and The Help, I think we’re being trolled.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
In my head her next line is “Why don’t you climb out my pussy and go find yourself some business? Nobody asked for your two-credit online psychology certificate bullshit analysis, son.”
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Sometimes, you have to just laugh. Or sigh. Or say “WTF?!” to yourself.
It’s orientation season, which means we’re busy here at my school, helping out the newbies.
I just had an interaction with an, er, interesting-looking young person. Tall (well over six feet), very blond, blue-eyed kid with a pronounced Boston accent… wearing a red/green/gold/black Rasta tam and a T-shirt with Bob Marley smoking a joint.
If there ever was a sign that it’s the end of the goddamn day, that dude was it.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
TODAY Show segment - Huma Abedin: Who is Weiner’s wife?
Ann Curry (left): She was also raised in a very conservative environment, as you know, Andrea, in Saudi Arabia, though she was born in Michigan, but do you think that this, um, has made… this, the way that she was raised, has made this even harder for her?
Andrea Mitchell: Certainly, I mean, she was raised Pakistani and Indian background, raised in Saudi Arabia, educated here at [George Washington University]… she is a private person, she is a Muslim, she observes, she’s an obvservant Muslim, married to a Jewish man - that’s already quite a stretch so she’s evolved… but she’s very private, very conservative, and for any woman this would be painful… for Huma this is quite awful…
Full disclosure: I hate morning news shows, but because I keep the news on while I get ready for work in the morning, I end up catching the first 10 minutes of the TODAY broadcast. I appreciate being able to look at the little clock in the corner of the TV screen so I know I’ll be leaving on time, but I hate damn near everything else about the smarmy, faux-comfort vibe that I get from the show. Particularly from Ann Curry.
For those of you not in the United States, or those who are who don’t pay attention to shit like this, today is Ann Curry’s first day as a co-anchor after working at the show for 14 years; she’s Meredith Vieira’s successor. The fact that Ann managed to pull this kind of ridiculous RaceFail™ (as in, “OMG she’s brown and Muslim, so the fact that her husband’s spot got blown up on some sexting bullshit is automatically way worse than it would be for a normal wife”) pissed me off.
I shouldn’t be surprised, but what a shitty question. Especially coming from one woman of color in discussion of another woman of color. Way to erase the facts of Huma Abedin’s intelligence, her impressive career, and her right to privacy in order to support some bullshit kinda-xenophobic narrative of the Fragile Brown Foreign Wife. Fuck you, Ann Curry. (And fuck Andrea Mitchell, too. You say Huma is “evolved”?! Go sit your ass down somewhere.)
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
But French’s book does exhibit some of the tendencies that have greeted the arrival of a “new” India with rose-tinted glasses. French, whose last effort was an astounding biography of V.S. Naipaul, is certainly aware of the dangers of writing about India, but he has trouble avoiding them. “Nearly everyone has a reaction to India, even if they have never been there,” he writes in his introduction.
They hate it or love it, think it mystical or profane; find it extravagant or ascetic; consider the food the best or the worst in the world. For East Asians, it is a competitor and a source of some of their own spiritual traditions. For Americans, it is a challenge, a potential hub of cooperation or economic rivalry—both countries are diverse and hulking, their national identities strong and to an extent constructed, their populations loquacious and outgoing and admiring of entrepreneurial success.
This cliché-ridden, Manichean passage begs several questions. For example, how many countries have unconstructed national identities? And how many travelers actually think the food in India is really the best or the worst in the world? French admits that these are “old” ways of looking at India, but it is clear from his writing that he finds such categories helpful. He ends the chapter by claiming that “With its overlap of extreme wealth and lavish poverty, its mix of the educated and ignorant, its competing ideologies, its lack of uniformity, its kindness and profound cruelty, its complex relationships with religion, its parallel realities and the rapid speed of social change—India is a macrocosm, and may be the world’s default setting for the future.” Almost all of the observations above could be made about nearly every country on earth. Even when French is not consciously romanticizing India, he cannot help but view it as larger-than-life, which is another form of mythmaking.
* * *
The problem is that French seems so enraptured by India that his analysis is never quite convincing.
Mini-confessional: I like checking out book and film reviews of work that I have a problem with, because it pleases me to see mediocre works get called out. As The Roots’ track title puts it, French ain’t sayin’ nothing new.
Oh, Jane: my sort-of-but-not-really review of xoJane.com
I didn’t really read Sassy much (though I did check out a couple of issues, for most of its run I was younger than the target demographic) but I did read Jane. I liked some of the feature stories, and it seemed less self-consciously feminine (not by a lot, but still) and more savvy than its alternatives like Marie Claire and Glamour. Jane Pratt the editor, however, came across as irritatingly self-centered - regular bouts of name-dropping, brags about super-chic excursions to hip resorts and film festivals, what have you. I skipped the editor’s letters and read the rest, until the editorial quality (in my opinion, that is) went downhill and Jane just got boring to me.
So when I heard that there was a new project coming out by Jane Pratt, I wasn’t exactly jumping for joy. My first thought was, “Here is something that I am going to hate. I’ll try to maintain an open mind - no, for real! I promise! - but when all’s said and done, I’ll probably hate this.”
I’ll start with the positive: Pratt made her name into a brand that people follow, for better or for worse. Sassy readers happily followed her to Jane because they dug the promise of the product, and I imagine that, despite the years-long absence of Jane from the magazine market, people will respond to this website (webzine? is that even a phrase that people use anymore) similarly. Not a fan of the player, but I can’t hate the game.
And now the rest. Selected article titles from the ‘Tech’ section (heavy use of the finger quotes of irony around ‘Tech’): “I Can’t Date You Unless You Have A Smartphone.” “My iPod Nano Is Just Too Small.” “Ask Natalie: Why Do People Keep Stealing My Dang Laptop Chargers?” It’s not like I was expecting Slashdot or even Gizmodo, but this shit is insulting. It’s not that far north on the slippery slope from some craptastic “pink is for girls” filler article about pretty decals for one’s laptop or Android apps that’ll get you The Guy.
By this point I figured I was just being picky (which is very like me). Whatever. So I click around, see some more innocuous-looking articles (nothing out of the realm of other Internet mags like The Awl, Thought Catalog, The Hairpin, etc.), and then come across this title:
I Spent Two Weeks In A Mental Institution, But Left With Better Hair
A nervous breakdown is no excuse not to condition.
Fucking wow. I sat there for a second thinking I was being pranked, because there was no way that this article could be as insensitive as the title indicated. And then I read the article - nope, contents exactly as advertised.
I think the first commenter on the article had a pretty damn good response:
Yes, I have been institutionalized, and it wasn’t in a highbrow Manhattan sanitarium. It was some 30 years ago in Denver and I (like everyone else there) was for the most part treated very poorly and condescendingly. I realize that people have different experiences in life, but I don’t see being institutionalized as anything close to “cute.” Believe me, the condition of my hair was nowhere close to a concern when I was in this craphole.
So that’s it, I guess. I’m over Jane Pratt. (To be fair, I was over her publications before and now I’m reminded of why.) To me, this replicates my relationship with the website Jezebel - after a while the stuff I was reading was full of so much fail that I questioned how much I valued my time after reading it. Gross.
And now off to read some Gizmodo. (Yes, it’s Gawker Media like Jezebel. I’m terrible.)