Success on your own damn terms

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Success on your own damn terms

Hey! Here’s a tip for those of us who sometimes get bogged down because we perceive ourselves as failing at some society-determined Responsible Life Trajectory by not passing certain milestones.

Instead of thinking of yourself in terms of other-centered goals and obligations (like what your parents expect of you, what your acquaintances—note: not the same as friends—are on about, what you think people will expect of you at your high school reunion, etc.), think of the figures in your childhood that you admired, and ask yourself whether you’re doing the cool stuff for which you admired those folks.

I think that’s pretty necessary around this time of year, when there’s a lot of reuniting with natal families, hometown visits, and the like that are the source of a bunch of social-climb anxiety. By the standards of that older relative who keeps asking you why you aren’t married yet, or the childhood frenemy with advanced-degree wallpaper and a Proper Adult Job, your life might look incomplete and inadequate. But if your childhood dream of You As A Grownup looked like Judy Funnie from Doug

and you’re an art school dropout with a well-curated black and purple wardrobe and shaved sides… well, congratulations, you’re right on target.

For the record, the fictional figures I look to for current grownup-life inspiration are Miss Frizzle from the Magic School Bus series,

Antoine Merriweather from In Living Color’s “Men on Film”,

and Gonzo from the live-action Muppet programming.

Considering that I’m part awesome nerd and part brilliant flamer (with a healthy streak of no-fucks-given Weird that is growing every day) with a growing wardrobe of intellectually-themed high femme clothing, who’s into youth-centered experiential education, incisive cultural critique from a queer perspective, femme4femme bonding (platonic and otherwise) and dark plastic frames, I’ve been doing my homework pretty damn well. When I think of myself that way it’s so much easier to drown out those annoying “when are you going to grad school?” voices from the peanut gallery.